I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
