Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize