mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm both gender and math confused
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
