Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
