Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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