tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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