Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize