I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
