I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Mom said you looked used
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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