well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
