i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
