i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
