What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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