is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
