Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize