talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
