you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
