I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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