I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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