Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
