Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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