Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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