Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
