im drinking this country out of the recession.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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