Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
