Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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