Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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