Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize