1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
