can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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