Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
