do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
