Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
