Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
These tits shall not be calmed
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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