Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
