He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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