So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
