he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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