Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
