i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
