I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
