He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
