This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
two words...techno handjob
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
