Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
