And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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