tell your sister to shave her snatch
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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