I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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