Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
