I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
