Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
