i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
