I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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