I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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