mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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