We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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