the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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