Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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