just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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