It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
