Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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