cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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