So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
